I think they call this venting....

So uhm I think my life is getting real strange lately for like the past 3 months I been noticing a sort of change in my personality like I get fed up real quick and even my closes friends are starting to irritate me. I'm not a doctor so I don't know how to diagnose this but I believe this all caused from stress. My mom told me senior year would be your most stressful years because your worried about your future outside of these four walls. But I was like man she don't know nothing she been outta high school for like 40 years now times have changed, I was wrong its the same script different actors. Its like I feel there's not enough hours in a day then when i do feel I have plenty of time I feel like its repetitious. I think this break from school may be what I need to get my head on straight. So far in my past few months I've had girl problems, emotion problems (ever feel your falling for someone your not supposed to be falling for? not in a gay way just like your worried about losing someone for someone else and I'm the type of person who wants to keep everyone happy at the end of the day), and during this month a friend Trevo (not a close to him like others are but still I would and did shed a tear if anything would ever happen to him) well he was in a bad car accident and he's still in the hospital I hope he gets well soon but I hear he's getting better I'm praying for him, then there comes school work especially during finals I just wanna make it that's all, then I feel all super tired all the time my mom says lack of exercise she may be right. I don't even skate I get on the board blow 2 or 3 tricks and I'm like screw this shit I aint never going pro anyway but that wasn't even my real ambition on skating it was just my release. Then at times I just feel like I want to be a loner but I need company so that doesn't pan out the way I want. I'm starting to feel that me and my friends are starting to separate because people say that after high school those friends you have you most likely wont speak or see them again and I'm sort of concerned about that and I think I feel myself trying to hurry up and rush it so I can already have that feeling out of my system. My friends don't mean any harm its just that I feel like when we share our problems with each other they become all our problems and we rarely try to fix them they just float around like fish in a bucket. But hey they say everything happens for a reason right? Another big thing is I have to many wants that I'm not achieving I achieve one then I add another to the list I think once x-mas comes I can handle everything because I'll then have some money in my pocket(its true money does make the world go round)but all my wants aren't just of monetary value just an amount of em are though. But I believe that's the end of my journal type shit. I hope everything works for the best or maybe I'm just over reacting . Oh yeah one last thing I'm gonna really try to go harder on the blog more personal shit not like about my problems just like more day to day type of shit.{I said "like" a whole lot of times in here)



-Mikey B c/o '10